**The Star**

Shengyang
17
21/12/1988
Yishun JC
Bowler

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    Friday, May 19, 2006

    Once a bowler,always a bowler.

    Today was the doubles event for A div bowling. I would say that the scores were disappointing. The desperation to do well has back fired. The singles event injured my thumb and now my third finger when i attempted to lift the ball for greater power.Now its left with a blood clog there. Maybe it was my lack of exposure to competitions, the performance was below average. The pressure to get the pins down really screwed my games. The frustration really bottled up in me. I have no ways of letting it out,and i didn't have the intention to.I tried so hard to pull up myself up.It wasn't really successful. The 6 games drained me mentally. After the scores were computed, disappointment really struck me hard.I felt lost and couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.Was i expecting too much of myself?I believe my goals were realistic,and it was within my reach. Why did i fall short? I managed to pick myself up and boost my confidence for today. The first game freaked me out.The lanes was so oily and as i send my rampage down the lane, there wasn't much impact. I took a risk and used inferno which i didn't have the chance to test. It didn't work either. It was my lowest game,79. I started picking up slowly and i realised i couldn't pick my spares.Only then i realised how important spares are when the score took a huge dip as i continually miss the spares. My strike line was fine but the sparing ruined me. The last game was another diaster. The injury on my third finger which started from the third game was hitting me hard. I could no longer grip the ball like before, causing the ball the drop before the release. The pain was still bearable, i held on hoping that nothing serious will happen. I was fortunate, however i screwed my game. Bowling isn't just about physical strength but alot more on mental skills. Although the 2 events i wasn't performing and i was overwhelmed by unexpected factors, i would say i tried my best and my best wasn't good enough.

    ~}Dreaming of you @ {10:28 PM}

    Saturday, April 22, 2006

    Finally another entry after one whole month of a stagnant blog. Too many things happening recently. I was either too busy, no mood or just plain lazy to update the blog. Although many things happen,i shall not announce it here. Forget about the past.
    Bowling nationals in about 3 weeks.The team line up used to matter to me. I have always wanted to be in the first team. Whatever the team line up turns up to be,i will accept it.I don't wish to get affected and bothered by it anymore. If i were to end up in the second team, however demoralising it may be,i will fight till the end. I don't want to regret in future for not trying my best in this competition. I may not get to the top,but at least i know i tried my best.

    ~}Dreaming of you @ {5:34 PM}

    Monday, March 27, 2006

    How everything falls in place for a day like this.

    I have received back 2 of my block test papers. Chemistry and maths , both F. Everyone's moving forward, i don't know why im moving in the opposite direction. If working hard gives such results,i would rather wish i didn't work as hard. I tried, but im tired. Watching others getting much better results, i feel stupid.
    Today is one of my worse day ever. Woke up the usual time in the morning and missed my bus to the interchange. Missed another bus and i thought i was going to be late due to the possiblity of jam.So i went outside,hoping to get a cab.Not a single cab in 30 mins,all taxi booking lines are engaged. In the end had to take bus. Went to breakfast at mac before going to sch. I was pointed out my garnesh for my not so long hair.Maybe he really expects everyone to have a hair of his length.
    Chemistry lesson we had to do some reflections to be handed in to ms chua. I thought i can just stay cheerful and get over it.The 10 mins of reflections writing upsets me further.arrrr. I wrote that i tried my best.And what's the point of studying when its bringing no where. She read it and told me what i should do and stuffs.Make sense to me,but give me 30 hrs a day and i'll make it work. I was totally disappointed with myself.
    Went to kimage to have a hair cut.It looked horrible and i know it,saw shuyan and jiamin and they started shouting about how horrible my hair was.Imagine spending $25 and getting this kinda hair cut and "advertisment" on the way. What a way to end today. With my mood totally down,i just wanna sleep for 12 hrs and wake up tmr.

    ~}Dreaming of you @ {7:55 PM}

    Monday, March 20, 2006

    Demoralization mission a success.

    Chemistry block test was horrible. I could recall everything in the lecture notes. Everything was different in the paper. Questions that appeared,never allowed me to apply what i know. Most of the questions make no sense to me. Some of the terms used i have never seen in my entire life. I tried.I struggled. I went through the paper at least 10 times. I still couldn't make any sense out of it. My brain gave up on me. I gave up on my brain too. I sat there and stared into thin air, eventually fell alsleep. That totally demoralised me.
    Was it just me who couldn't do the paper? i have no idea.
    Have i tried my best? I did.
    If studying results in this,not studying might make me feel better.
    Maybe it's just me.I have only me to blame.

    What killed you,won't give you the chance to be stronger.

    ~}Dreaming of you @ {9:58 PM}

    Thursday, March 16, 2006

    Im finally back to blogging after so long. Holidays have never been so fun.Although block test is next week and i haven't really done much,yet i could still go out to have fun. Its starting to make me feel guilty. I watched 3 movies in 4 days with some bowling mates.2 of which wasn't that nice(date movie and dorm).However,final destination 3 was the best. It was so gruesome and bloody. yet it was really nice.lepy getting flashbacks of certain parts of the movie. Some may say the show is for sadists yet i would still wanna watch the movie again. Time pass very fast when we're enjoying.In no time,we will be facing the block test.I can't sit down and study. arrrrr....

    ~}Dreaming of you @ {9:21 PM}

    Thursday, March 02, 2006

    Yesterday after bowling training,we went pasta for dinner and guess what we did after that....


    neo prints





    the mirror outside the lift at plaza sin








    In da lift!







    Child abuse at staircase






    YJ super star having concert at staircase!





    Spot the cleaner aunty!(hint:she's holding a broom behind her back)

    ~}Dreaming of you @ {9:18 PM}

    Sunday, February 26, 2006

    The ever priceless things in life

    The night spent at amk mac was indeed a unique experience.Although that wasn't the first time i spent my night out,it was the first spent at mac. We did maths throughout the night. The night was cold and the food were tempting. We survive it and went for bowling on sat. Imagine not sleeping for one night and try concentrating on the game. I went home and slept from 4pm till 5am the next morning,waking up once for dinner. Today we(bowling mates) had to wake up early for the CIP event.It was the Singapore Duathlon(race event consisting of running and cycling).Held at east coast,thus some of us including me had the rare luxury of sleeping more than the others.We had to be there be there by 6.30am.Sky was dark then.Only a handful of us were punctual,the rest were either late or too late that they won't make it in time. We were given roles as the run marshal,they changed our roles a couple fo times,from run marshal to bike marshal to time keeper,finally to help out at the drinks station. It was our first time though. We had encounters such as the public(a Singaporean lady) being very mean to us with the words used when we refused to give her drinks as they were for the runners. A typical trend,those who said thank you, are the non-singaporeans.What's happening to our values system?
    We were wet at the end of the day as there were alot of water spillage when the runners grab the cups as they passed by.
    It was a frutiful morning indeed.The experience gained and fun we had together was priceless and precious.
    I finally realised that ideality and reality are totally opposite. In reality,ideality doesn't exist.However,why do we still want to compare with the ideal suitations? We may hope for the most ideal suitations but it will never exist.

    付出的爱收不回 还欠你的我不能给 我才明白爱最真实的滋味 我终于明白

    ~}Dreaming of you @ {8:16 PM}

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